The Hope Lady

During the Christmas break I had the opportunity to teach a seminar at Ignite, our ministry's national conference. The topic I chose way back in August, was hope. The Miracle of Hope was my title and challenge to convey.

When I chose the topic I was feeling very hopeful, in fact better than I had felt in years. I was thrilled to get to share on a topic that I had learned so much about and come out on the other side of. Unfortunately, by October I was not feeling quite so hopeful any more. I was struggling with God to understand where exactly we can put our hope.

I knew that I was supposed to put my hope in God, and that's great, but it seemed so limiting, and so simplistic. I had an hour to speak, should I just tell them to put their hope in God and then dismiss them? It seemed like such a bumper sticker answer, and I'm much too long winded for that.

I know that we're supposed to put our hope in seeing Jesus one day, and while that does give me great hope and I eagerly look forward to that day, it seems that we must have more hope here and now.

What I realized as I wrestled with God over this, was that I wanted to continue to hope in people, in specific relationships in my life and the results that I craved. Unfortunately, that is exactly what God was asking me to let go of. Whether family members that I wished could engage on a deeper level with me, or my at-risk students who I wanted to see transformed, God asked me to release my vice grip on this hope I have in people.

Out for a walk one day with my son and our dog I was delighting in them and the new fallen snow. We made snow angels, threw snow balls, chased our dog around and laughed as she frolicked with complete abandon. And I was filled with pure, unadulterated joy. It was one of those moments that I wish I could bottle, put on a shelf and open just a crack every once in a while to remember its beauty.

And in that moment I felt like God asked me, "Isn't this enough?" I stopped in my tracks and realized there was no end to what I hoped for other people. For my students, I don't just want to help them be successful in school, I want them to know peace and love, to be provided for and have a support system. But I felt like God asked me if the possibility of these moments wasn't enough. If they, if I, get to experience this kind of love and joy and delight for just a few moments of our lives, isn't that enough? Isn't that the hope that we crave?

So, in my seminar I told a lot of my story, the hopelessness that I come from and the miraculous place that I am now. I talked for an hour, read an abundance of verses on putting our hope in God alone, but in all the fantastic aspects of our Infinite God, and then I read some slam poetry at the end (just for fun). And somehow, God spoke and people heard.

Thirsty hearts were quenched with a little hope from their Creator and I got to hear a little bit from many of these. It was wonderful for the rest of the conference to have people come up and tell me they needed to hear what I shared, they were struggling with hope themselves, and that somehow my story brought them hope.

As I was leaving town, I stopped at Starbucks for some chai and as I waited in line I listened to two girls chat in front of me. They were college students that I didn't recognize, but when we were about to get our drinks they looked at me and one of them said, "Hey, aren't you the Hope Lady?"

Why, yes I am.

If you want to hear my teaching, The Miracle of Hope, go to www.gcmignite.org and click on audio video, then breakout audio, click sermon player and then scroll down to my teaching title. Grab some chai and sit back and hope.:)