There is a classic Christian novel of sorts called Hinds Feet on High Places. It is a beautiful and treasured story of a little deer-like creature named "Much Afraid" who accepts a seed of hope from her Savior and then sets out on a journey.
This story is precious to many of my friends, speaking to them in rich and powerful ways, so they always look at me a little strange when I tell them that I can't stand the book and was never able to finish it.
I've always known the part that bothered me, the part of the story that stopped me in my tracks so that I couldn't go any further. It is when the Savior tells Much Afraid that he has some traveling companions for her - Sorrow and Suffering - and he wants her to hold their hands on her journey.
I am a very visual person, and the mere thought of this causes my hand to recoil. I know that sorrow and suffering are part of this life. I know that God uses them to teach me many wonderful things, but this imagery makes it seem that my Heavenly Father is a masochist. That he likes to cause us pain, that he says, "Hold their hands, it will be good for you."
And so, I have never finished this book. If you love it, I am glad, I am not arguing that you should not read or love a book that has spoken to so many, I just want to explain what I just realized. The reason I can't stand to read this book, to imagine myself holding the hand of Sorrow and Suffering as I journey through this Christian life, is because the only hand I am willing to hold is Jesus'.
In my sanctified imagination (as Oswald Chambers calls it) I see us walking through the land of Sorrow and Suffering to get to the other side, to get home to Jesus where there will be no more sadness, no more tears. And when I accepted the love and forgiveness of my Savior, I believe that He took my hand, has never let it go, will never let it go until I am safe in his Heavenly Kingdom.
There is something interesting that Fredrick Buechner once said. He said that if he were not a Christian, he would probably be Buddhist (which I thought was an odd thing to say, but his point is good). He said that when you look at the two pillars of these faiths, the fat and happy Buddha, eyes closed, arms down, sitting in comfort, and then at Jesus, agony ripped across his face, arms spread wide on the cross, compassion in his eyes. The crucial difference between these two icons is this: while Buddha closes his eyes to the pain and suffering of this world, Jesus bears it, taking all of our sin, our sorrow, our suffering and experiencing it himself.
My Jesus did not ask my friends to hold the hands of sorrow and suffering as they watched and waited to see if their new born baby would survive a horrible infection. No, He held their hands, filled up their room, surrounded them with love and compassion, and bore their sorrow in his heart. He walked them through the lands of Sorrow and Suffering to bring them to the other side, deeper into His love, stronger in their trust in Him, surrounded by His Church and never alone.
This is what I know about my Jesus: He does not delight in our pain, but rather He walks with us through it and then does something beautiful with His miraculous magic - He redeems it.
