It's November, which means two things: 1. Christmas is less than two months away, and 2. It's National Novel Writing Month!
I had heard of this NaNoWriMo thing before and thought it sounded insane. The goal is to write a whole novel in one month, the month of November, no less, when you're also supposed to get ready for the holidays, buy Christmas presents and winterize the house (I have never winterized a house in my life, but it's on the to-do list, ya know).
50,ooo words in one month, that translates into approximately 1,667 words a day. Gulp.
So, this year I decided to try it. There's this story I've had in my head for years. I've written bits and pieces of it and developed characters in my head until they feel like real people, and I thought maybe this was the kick in the pants I needed to actually get it on paper.
It sort of reminds me of when I decided to run a marathon to reclaim my body after weaning my fourth child. For some reason I thought it would be great to celebrate that my body was now my own (and my husband's, but not my children's) by torturing it with hours long 10, 15, 20 and ultimately 26.2 mile runs. How'd that pan out for me? Let's just say I'm not the poster girl for why to run a marathon. Talk to someone else if you want to be motivated. Ask me for details if you'd like to cross that sucker off your bucket list.
Anyway, as of November 1st I actually started writing, everyday. Somehow it conveniently worked out that it was also daylight savings time and I've been waking up at 6 a.m. bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to write. This has been awesome. I have discovered that I really like writing every day. Unfortunately, I have also discovered that writing a whole story, in some sort of logical order is insanely difficult for me.
A lot of writers talk about this almost transcendental experience of having their characters lead them through a story, taking them places they never imagined and discovering new things along the way. I, on the other hand, feel the need to apologize to my characters for writing them into corners I have no idea how to get them out of. It makes me want to jump from one scene to another, randomly leaving my characters at odd places and hoping that someday, if this thing actually makes it to a publisher they'll think it's just my super cool oh-so-ahead-of-the-times story telling technique.
On the up side, our church had a fast this week that also started on Sunday. I fasted from food for a day, but abstained from t.v., movies, and people.com for the week. Those of you that know me understand the sacrifice it was to not be up to date on how Nicole Kidman and my boy Keith are doing or what new project Rob Pattinson is gearing up for. Yes, I have a very shallow side.
Anywho, I realize that these preoccupations are my way to avoid dealing with the difficult aspects of my life, particularly, going to a job four days a week to be verbally abused by middle school delinquents (whom I love:), and to avoid writing because I'm so terrified I'll be terrible at it.
I'm of the camp that thinks that sitting and dreaming is lots o' fun, but doing is kinda scary.
So this has been an exciting week of facing my fears and doing something with all the dreams in my head, instead of trying to live vicariously through someone else's (though, I guess I sort of do that with my characters). But what really annoyed me was that Thursday night I broke my fast from internet gossip sights and by the time I went to bed I was thoroughly depressed.
What I discovered is that if I want to be happy I need to do what God made me for, which seems to be writing, teaching, and using my creativity to communicate with others. I often watch movies because I crave a good story, but what I'm really needing is to write the story in my head.
This annoys me, but makes my husband very happy. I'm annoyed because it's a lot easier to lay on the couch and watch a movie than it is to sit and stare at a computer screen that taunts you with its blankness.
My husband is happy because since the day we were married he has thought I was a gifted communicator and has wanted me to use my gifts. (Have I mentioned how well I married?)
So, wish me luck or grace or inspiration. I have met my goal of writing every day and facing my fears, but I'm behind on my word count. But hey, if I just write 5,486 words today I'll be all caught up for the week.:)
