Fasting (Sort of)

So, yesterday I began a 40 day fast. I know it sounds extreme, but I've been thinking about it for a while and decided that I need to do this. I talked to my husband about it and he's on board. I'm hungry and craving things, but otherwise okay.

Technically I'm not abstaining from all food, just my favorite food - chocolate mostly, also sugar, but the chocolate is the most painful part. Some people say that I'm just giving up sweets for lent, but I'm not catholic and I've never fully understood lent, so I'm not calling it that. I consider it a fast because I normally eat inordinate amounts of chocolate and sweets in a day. Going without is a great sacrifice and will only be successful if it is viewed as a fast.

I know a lot of people who eat to make themselves feel better, I am one of these people. But I keep finding that on the days I feel the worst I eat the most chocolate, cookie dough, brownies and other sweet treats, hence making me feel even more disgusting.

I'm the worst at lunch time. I eat the same thing every day for breakfast - cereal and orange juice, and then I plan every dinner meal for a family of six, which takes some coordination on my part. But lunch, unless I'm going out to eat, just does not appeal to me. Sandwiches are not that exciting, I make a decent salad now and then, but in my post morning, pre-work mindset, lunch just takes too much energy.

So I grab what is appealing. For example, one day I had potato chips, sour cream and onion dip, Cherry Coke and cookie dough for lunch. I was feeling sort of down before the well-balanced lunch, but afterward I felt nauseous as well. This started me thinking - maybe I need to NOT go to these foods for a little while and see what happens.

There is, of course, another motivation. I hear that spring may actually come this year and if it does, then summer will follow, and we have a pool pass, which means I'll have to wear a bathing suit in public and the 15 pounds that I have been unable to lose since having my daughter will be bulging out at all sorts of odd angles.

But I must point out - this is not a diet! I fail miserably at diets. This is a fast. From chocolate, from sugar, from soda. Apparently I can eat as many potato chips and dip as I want, but it's just not as tempting when I can't wash it down with some yummy pop. Same with movie popcorn, darn it! I really wanted some last night. But I do feel thinner this morning and not nauseous from the ridiculous amounts of butter I usually add to the corn. (Thank you, Stephanie, for teaching me the fill-the-bag-half-way, add-butter-then-fill-the-rest-of-the-way-and-add-more-butter technique.)

So, wish me luck, or pray for self-control. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

By the way, what do I do with all the chocolate still left in my house? Give it to charity? Put it in a safe until Easter and then gorge on it? Hmmmm...